Most parents want to see their teenagers to do well in school, but aren't sure how to help. Teenagers can be resistant to their families and academic world mixing. I remember fighting embarrassment as my mother appeared, in bright red sweats, by my locker to give me my lunch. Adolescence is a challenging stage of life. The harder it is to be a teenager, the harder it is to be a parent.
Talk to the school.
One of the most important ways to help teens in schools, is to connect with the faculty. Research suggests students whose parents communicate with the school regularly, get a better education. While I am sure the faculty does not intentionally slight teens who do not have involved caregivers, it is natural to give more attention to the ones who are more familiar. There is also an accountability factor. An involved parent encourages staff to give their best. Concerned adults involving themselves in the teens academic world gives extra psychological support, which can be the difference between passing or failing a class. Not the legal guardian? As long as the guardian (and teen) don't object, do not be afraid to advocate for the young people in your life. In my experience the schools are happy to better help their students, only remember they manage hundred of students, not just yours.
TIP: Struggling grades? Ask the school counseling office about free tutoring services the schools often provide.
Eat!
There is a growing trend among teenagers to abstain from breakfast, and sometimes lunch too. Parents often don't even notice because as soon as student gets home from school, they start in snacking and eat a big dinner. Skipping breakfast and lunch contributes heavily to problems with focusing and assimilating new information. Their brains don't have enough nutrient support to learn efficiently. Also, deficits in nutrition are being shown to decrease the brain's ability to function. Consuming highly processed sugar and fatty foods will contribute to poor focus. Make sure your teenagers not only are eating but have a healthy start to the day to keep up their energy till the dismissing bell rings.
TIP: Many girls are under the impression that they will lose weight if they hold out eating as long as possible. Make sure they know this is false. If necessary, recruit their doctor in the conversation.
Sleep.
Teenagers are infamous for their poor sleep hygiene. I regularly hear of survival through the day starting early, crashing for a couple hour nap after school, and up late finishing homework and texting friends. Weekends are for sleeping half the day. Being tired negatively affects their ability to problem solve and retain information. During adolescence 8-10 hours of sleep is recommended. Encourage good sleeping habits such as avoiding caffeine late in the day, separating homework and sleep spaces, and scheduling wind-down time between business and sleep. Many of my clients find it helpful to play a relaxing playlist or taking a bath/shower to calm their active minds before saying goodnight.
TIP: Lower the brightness in the evening. Avoid intense lights late in the evening including TV, computer's, and phones. Dim lighting readies the body for sleep.
While we can't do the work for them, there is a much we can do to help make the most of their educational opportunities. Not only are we giving them tools now but we also are setting a foundation for their further endeavors whether at college or in the workforce. Without proper sleep, good nutrition, or social support, a teenager can easily fall through the cracks, silently failing to meet their potential. Be the person to help them achieve.
